Cross Creek Journal, October, 2006

Unbelievable how quickly time passes - another month has gone by. However, we are not insensitive to the fact that for some of our parents and students the time is not going fast enough - especially when a family is ready for their first pass or PC I. After many months of practicing communication skills and new behaviors, the visits may first appear uncomfortable and even difficult. Students are worried about making sure that parents follow all facility guidelines while on pass. The students may even appear paranoid about small things. How wonderful is that! When was the last time your child really cared about whether rules were followed or not? When was the last time your child wanted to sit down with you and have a conversation? When was the last time your child WANTED to follow guidelines? You have come so far! Congratulations! However, be patient. It takes a commitment to follow through all the way to program completion. The first pass is just that - the FIRST PASS. Don't get in a hurry to bring your child home. Time passes slowly for those who wait. So while you are waiting, use that time to become the best person you can be. Attend seminars, staff seminars, work on your family values, assist a parent in trouble:. Your child will come home in his/her due time, when ready. Time will pass.

Several upper level girls are assisting in the World Senior Games for period of two weeks. Their responsibilities include filling up and delivering fruit baskets to softball players and keeping them hydrated. This is our fourth year in offering our services during the Games. There are over 300 teams participating in the World Senior Games so you can imagine how busy it keeps the girls.

Seminars have been going on at the CCP facility since October 2, 2006. We started out by Girls' Orientation, followed by Principles, Discovery, Focus, Keys to Success, PC II and finishing up with Boys' Orientation October 16-17. PC I is at the end of the month (October 27-28) at Cross Creek, and PC III in San Diego October 28-29, 2006. Pictures of the seminar graduates can be found on the parent BBS web site.

The Cross Creek Cross Country Teams faired very well in our Regional Meet held @ Cross Creek. The boys' Cross Country team made it to State Cross Country Meet on October 18, 2006 @ Sugarhouse Park in Salt Lake City. Girls Team did not make it to State; however, each girl improved her personal record by several minutes from the start of the season. Congratulations to both teams!

Sports are like life in many ways. I see a lot of character from all the teams, and the sportsmanship that is carried out on the track. When I go out on the track and look at everyone as brothers and sisters, I can support them to compete at their fullest potential, just like they support me.

I have a great track team that is a lot like family, and they push and encourage me to never give up and to always finish strong. The one thing that I am very proud of is never giving up. Growing up, when things in school got tough, I would quit and expect someone else to finish the work for me.

During track meets and track practice there have been many times I wanted to quit, but I didn't because I want something different in my life. I don't want to be a quitter. I would go out to practice and work twice as hard and I'd go to track meets with a great attitude to do my very best - and I did. And I will never stop.

Mr. Milton Jacklin has been awarded the Employee of the month award. He has been a Youth Supervisor at Cross Creek Programs for 3 years. His devotion to the students is exemplary and it is not difficult to see why Mr. Milton has become one of the best and favorite staff at our program. As a side note, Mr. Milton was also awarded the highest adult scouting award, the Silver Beaver award from the local Boy Scout Council. The Silver Beaver award is awarded to select leaders who have given many years of service to Boy Scouts of America. Mr. Milton has worked with the Boy Scouts for 30 years from the time he started at the age of ten. As an adult he has been a scoutmaster, cub master, and advancement chairman. He is currently working with the local District holding board reviews for the Eagle Scout candidates. Mr. Milton brings his love for youth to his work at Cross Creek.

Mr. Brian Parker, therapist for Girls K-group and Boys group 7 has been at Cross Creek for almost seven years. He earned his Degree in Psychology from the Southern Utah University and his graduate degree from the University of Nevada Las Vegas in Master of Science Marriage and Family Therapy. Mr. Parker's expertise and commitment to changing lives and assisting families is very valuable in our program setting. He has a no nonsense approach with students and parents, and it is very difficult to manipulate and con Mr. Parker - ask his students! We feel very fortunate to have him in our facility and look forward to keeping him here for a long time.

Graduating Cross Creek is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is also the most rewarding. I now have many things I wouldn't have gained otherwise: self esteem, confidence, a concept of friendship, integrity, courage, a scholarship, and tools to handle setbacks. But most important to me, I can now experience peace.

Before the program, I looked at those who seemed secure in a circle of friends, drugs, and girlfriends, and thought, now that's peace. To me, it was simple. Lots or friends (or a little drugs) meant no worries. No worries meant peace. And I wanted nothing more but to have a break from the excruciating paranoid and insecure life I had been living so far. But the more I tried to push my pain under the rug and surround myself by friends, images, and things to abuse, the more insecure I felt.

It took the life experience of Cross Creek, granted to me by the grace of God and my parents, for me to learn that I won't experience peace because of a lack of troubles. And my peace isn't being able to control life's outcomes, but knowing I don't have to. It is knowing, regardless whether I met success or failure - I have no regrets. I now experience peace because I now live a life based on dignity and integrity, rather than fear and ego. Thanks to this program, and more specifically the people in it, peace is no longer just a dream - it is reality.

Going home, I have structures, goals, ambitions, and dreams, but no master plan. No certainty what I'll be doing 10 years from now, or even two years from now! But what I do have is faith and peace of mind. In the midst of all the chaos that makes up life, though I may not even know it until I reached the end, I'll be miraculously fulfilling my purpose step by step, one day at a time.

For years I have been told that "I don't know what I have until it is gone". To me this saying was just words, but now it has become the reason I started working my program. I came to Cross Creek on December 19th, 2004 and the thing I hated most was my family. But being here in this program, I have been given the gift to see how important family is. The thing I once valued the least, I now value the most, and my family means the world to me.

TO YOU

To you I give my vow of life,
And always to be true,
I have grown into a man,
And it's all because of you.

You fill my heart with so much joy,
There's nothing we can't achieve,
You give me hope, you give me strength,
You taught me to believe.

As I journey down the road of life,
And take on the leaps and bounds,
I know you're there by my side,
When I fall and hit the ground.

You give my life so much peace,
I am as docile as a lamb,
I never question your integrity,
I know you are no scam.

For richer or poorer,
In our life that is so new,
And in sickness and in health
I give my life to you.

Our names are Ryan, Tyler and Devon and we are graduates of the June 2006 PC III. We have been at Cross Creek from a range of 17-21 months and all three us have had similar experiences before the program with such things as sex, violence, alcohol, and other drugs. We have grown together for months now as friends; some would say that we are "The Three Amigos", but we are more than that. We are brothers, we are one. We have each come through our own separate ordeals, but in the end we have all shared the same feelings, the same thoughts, and the same bond that can never be taken from us.

Back home we thought we had it all. We thought we were "somethin' somethin'", but in reality we were scared little boys crying out for help. We had a home, a great family, good friends, but we threw it all away for something that we thought would make life better. Drugs, sex, alcohol, stealing, gangs, parties, and the pure adrenaline rushes were all that life was about. We were wrong. Over time we came to find out that our friends weren't friends, our fun was not fun, and our life wasn't really life. We learned that there is so much more to life than we could have ever imagined.

When we first came to the program we were not happy, we hated it here. We couldn't swear, we couldn't drink, we couldn't party, and we couldn't do anything. Our lives had been stripped from us, and we looked for someone to blame other than ourselves. We looked to blame our parents. We sent threats, lies, and empty promises through letters, just so that we could go home. We swore up and down that we would rather be in jail than here. The reason was that we were not willing to look into our problems and ourselves; we were too busy running away from them, like everyday at home. We realized that what we thought was a nightmare, was really a blessing in disguise.

Each one of us was given a second chance at life; it just took us some time to really understand this. As time went on we learned to accept ourselves for whom we are and not what we do. That is when the real work began. It took more than just saying we were something else, it took really believing in it. It wasn't just something that came over night, it was something we had to work on day in and day out, and it wasn't always easy. We put our hearts and souls into this place. We can't even count how many times we wanted to quit, or even how many times we did, but at the end we always picked it back up and kept going.

We never thought we would see the day that people would be looking up to us as graduates. The same people that we thought meant nothing, we found really mean everything. We started counting down the days just wishing that this day would come, and now it is coming too fast. And even now we still share the same fears; the fear of relapse, the fear of loneliness, and the fear that what we have here, we can never have at home. We share the same feelings of wanting to go back to our old lives, a feeling that will never go away. We started to understand what a wise man once told us "It isn't what we want, but what we need that really matters". Fears are our worst enemies and yet our best friends, a concept that is hard to understand, and yet we still go home with the courage to face our greatest fears.

We messed up our first chance at home and now we have been given a second with only one promise: "It isn't what you do, but what do about it". This is what that wise man meant; no matter how many times we messed up in the past or how many times we mess up in the future, it doesn't matter. All that matters is how we handle ourselves and the lessons we learn from it. This is what we call "class and style". Once we really understood this, life took on a new meaning, one with dreams, one with hopes and one with love.

Our parents spent lots of money, wore themselves out both emotionally and physically to give us a chance at our dreams. These are our dreams: that we may be part of a family, go to school, be sober, live a successful life, stand for our greatness and one day have a family of our own. We wish that one day we may repay our family and to do so we are going to live a long and happy life full of love.

As these last days go by, we find ourselves stuck. In the beginning we cried for having to come to the program, and now we cry for having to leave. There is so much here that we truly love. We sat one night and just watched as thirty young men sat in a room and just had fun. It was true fun, laughing, talking, smiling - something we are desperately going to miss. We found ourselves in tears, because we don't know when we are going to have something so amazing again. It took months to build this, and only a day for it to disappear. We had some on the worst times of our lives here, but we also had the best times as well. We remember the first time we saw our parents, we remember our first hope buddy, our first activity, our first tear, and our first hug. We remember our first seminar, and the second and the third. We remember everything and we are going to miss it. We found out what a true relationship is by being here, and share every day with our group and our friends. A real relationship is one like ours, one like brothers, one that lasts forever.

There are but two words to explain how we feel: Thank You. Thank you for everything, for our lives, for our families, for our education. Thank you for a second chance. There are so many people here who have contributed to our greatness, though it took us many months to understand why: because we are worth it! Ron Garrett, the program director, Jeff Vorhees, our therapist, Sherry Wagner, our family representative, Groups 1 and 2, and the entire Cross Creek student body; for everything you have done, we thank you.

December:
Discovery	December 4-5-6
Principles	December 7
PC II	December 8-9-10
Girls Keys	December 11
Boys Keys	December 12
Girls Orientation	December 13-14
PC I	December 15-16
PC III	December 16-17 (San Diego)
Focus	December 17-181-19
Boys Orientation	December 20-21

We just had a very successful Parent Child II seminar @ Cross Creek. Congratulations to all those who participated and graduated this seminar. We also acknowledge parents who have graduated Discovery, Focus and/or Keys this past month. Your support of the program and your child's progress is SO valuable. Thank You.

Discovery Seminar		Focus	Keys
Bay Area	Nov. 10-12	October 26-29	Dec. 2-3
Southern CA	Dec. 1-3	Nov. 9-12	Nov. 4-5
Dallas	October 27-29	Dec. 7-10	Oct. 14-15
Chicago	October 20-22	Nov 30-Dec 3	Nov. 18-19
Atlanta	Dec. 8-10	Nov 30-Dec 3	Oct. 28-29
Newark	TBA	Dec. 7-10	Dec. 16-17